The way parents and carers respond to the emotions of children and teenagers can impact their self-worth and ability to regulate emotions. These psychology tips may help you to avoid common mistakes and support healthy development.
We all want our children to grow up with a healthy sense of self, from forming their own beliefs and opinions to trusting their own thoughts, feelings and decisions. We hope they’ll be able to validate their own self-worth without relying on external prop-ups such as compliments or social media likes. It is also a common parenting goal to help children to learn to regulate their own emotions and behaviour. However, fostering these skills and attributes in children and adolescents can be trickier than it seems. As parents, we may intend to be supportive but unknowingly make mistakes that undermine a child or adolescent’s self-concept and self-esteem. So how can you help to cultivate a child’s ability to self-regulate and self-validate?
Validation matters
Children learn from their parents and other adult role models. Therefore, it’s important to demonstrate or model validation to children and adolescents. Fundamentally, this means helping a young person to feel understood and validating their feelings (the opposite of validation, invalidation, occurs when we dismiss or minimise feelings). An example is curiously listening without judgment when a child is anxious or upset - even if you’re tempted to minimise or dismiss your child’s feelings as ‘silly’ or ‘over the top’. This may be as simple as saying “I understand that you feel very angry right now.” It is implicitly giving them permission to feel what they feel and to be themselves, which also helps to foster healthy self-esteem. When practising validation, make a point of recognising and naming specific feelings or emotions, which will help children to learn to identify their own emotions.
Through this, a child will learn to accept and validate their own internal experiences and to express feelings in a balanced, regulated and healthy way rather than being ashamed of their feelings and, potentially, acting them out through poor behaviour. When practising this (and it may take disciplined practice, which is why we’ve compiled the below list of helpful validating statements), it is important to recognise the difference between validating a child’s emotional experience and encouraging expression, and giving them free rein to behave or interact inappropriately without intervention. In fact, setting rules and boundaries is also a key aspect of validation and instilling self-regulation. If you’re not sure where to start, familiarise yourself with these ready responses and adapt them as needed.
5 ready validation responses
If your child or teen struggles with emotion regulation or low self-worth or self-esteem, consider reaching out to a child and adolescent psychologist, who can help them (and you) to implement practices for good emotional health and development.
Liquid meals and smoothies are having a moment. Sipping your breakfast from a Mason jar has become a kind of wellness era status symbol. But is there any nutritional merit to swapping out solid food?
In fact, a smoothie can provide as many, or more, nutrients than certain solid meals. This is especially true when you’re eating on the run and may otherwise opt for grab-and-go options such as toast with minimal fibre and no or little protein or calcium (or worse, drive-thru). However, the healthfulness of a smoothie or liquid meal depends on its ingredients and their ratios. While a liquid meal made with a balance of fruit, veggies, healthy fats and milk provides sustained fullness and can help to regulate blood sugar, one made with fruit and no vegetables or fats may set you up for a blood sugar crash and hunger pangs. So what is the formula for a delicious, filling liquid meal that gets you through to lunchtime and contributes to your daily nutrient quotas? Our dietitians have put together this cheat sheet to kick start your smoothie routine.
Please remember that general nutrition advice and guidelines can ignore individual factors. If you’re considering making dietary changes or striving for certain health goals, consult an accredited practising dietitian (APD) for personalised recommendations.
Perinatal depression and anxiety can be hard to get your head around. Aren’t new parents supposed to be happy?! This collision of expectations can make it difficult for the many women who suffer from mental health problems after childbirth. According to our women’s physiotherapists and psychologists, some new mums struggle in silence, fearing judgment if they share their dark or confused thoughts and feelings. And many suffer the wrath of a harsh inner-critic who says ‘just snap out of it!’
The reality is that perinatal depression, anxiety and even psychosis are serious conditions that affect many new mothers (and even some partners). Such mental and emotional health issues may be even more likely to emerge in the context of COVID restrictions such as limited visiting for partners, family and friends.
Importantly, just like any postnatal complication such as prolapse, these challenges require a period of healing and, often, specialised treatment.
To mark PANDA week, we’re encouraging new mums and their partners, family, friends and health professionals to look out for changes in their own and their loved ones’ mood or behaviour and to gently offer support. For checklists, tips and resources for accessing help, visit the @PANDANational website. #keepsoaring
So we’ve been harping on about returning to exercise after the gym break. But what if you’ve never had a fitness regimen or are older and fearful that working out will exacerbate aches and pains or cause injury?
Whether you’re recovering from injury or just not as nimble as you used to be, exercise is critical for physical and mental health. In fact, the right exercise can delay the musculoskeletal and cognitive effects of ageing. But what is ‘the right’ exercise?
A physiotherapist can assess your overall musculoskeletal function and health and prescribe an exercise routine that safely enables you to gain strength, maintain bone mass, improve balance, and support other key markers of physical fitness. They’re like a personal trainer with anatomical expertise benefits!
If you’re curious about you can safely and effectively implement exercise into your day, our sports and community physios would love to answer your questions! #keepsoaring
Have you missed hydrotherapy? Maybe you’re returning to sport and need to heal a niggling injury or improve function and movement? Or you’re experiencing pain or movement limitations due to a condition such as arthritis? We’re excited to announce that pool-based physiotherapy is back from today at our Thomastown and Craigieburn clinics! Harnessing the buoyancy of water to enable exercises that may not be possible with the loads of land-based exercise, hydro helps a diverse range of clients, from athletes to sufferers of chronic pain and those with severe injuries or disabilities. It really is a marvellous discipline!
-Your condition or injury requires therapeutic exercise but you can’t tolerate the load of land-based exercise
-You suffer from muscle pain or spasms
-You wish to fast-track recovery or return to peak performance after injury or promote healing of an old injury
-You’re an athlete seeking methods to promote better recovery
-Your movement or function is limited by a condition such as arthritis
-You suffer chronic pain and/or swelling
-You require rehabilitation for a major injury
-You require rehabilitation after surgery (e.g. joint replacement)
-Your movement/function is limited by physical disability
Daily green smoothie. Regular chiropractic adjustment. Psychological therapy. Which is the odd one out? The answer is ‘none’!
While many of us wouldn’t question the first two as proactive ways to maintain optimal wellness, often psychotherapy or talk therapy is associated with mental health conditions. Yet while psychologists can certainly assist with depression, anxiety and other diagnoses, often their work involves identifying everyday roadblocks to optimal functioning - think repetitive emotional reactions, recurring relationship issues, excessive stress, unhelpful beliefs and thought patterns, low confidence or self-esteem and self-sabotaging behaviours. It’s ‘normal’ stuff that comes with being human, but which may make being human feel especially hard!
If you are struggling with a particular area of your life, are not where you’d like to be or lack direction, or feel that your life areas are out of balance, consider seeking support from a qualified psychologist.
Hindsight, as they say, is a wonderful thing. Often what was a muddle or mess during our lived experience is, in retrospect, crystal clear. The decision we deliberated over seems obvious. The terror of failing we felt seems trivial. This is partly because, when we’re in the midst of experience, facing an unknown future, we tend to home in and over-emphasise details. In effect, we are trying to outplay uncertainty and protect ourselves from mistakes and adverse experiences. Who could blame us?! 😳
Unfortunately, this detail focus can actually cause us to take the wrong path by blinding us to the big picture. Ugh!
So how to zoom out and take a more holistic perspective when we’re caught in the daily minutiae of our lives? FromMonday, try this week’s wellbeing exercise:
Imagine what you want your life to have been when you look back in one, five, 20 years. Maybe you want to feel that you’ve truly lived and taken risks, which may help you to overcome the paralysis of making the ‘wrong’ decision in the present. Perhaps you want to be able to say that you were a great friend, or that you travelled widely. In doing this exercise, imagine writing your own memoirs or telling your life story to children or grandchildren. Use this as a template for creating your life as you face each experience.🤨😊#keepsoaring
If you feel bad about your body, the obvious solution is to ‘fix’ it. Lose fat. Gain muscle. Transform. Transform. Transform. However, changing one’s body doesn’t necessarily improve negative body image. While losing a few centimetres may temporarily make you feel better, the unaddressed, complex factors that contribute to body image, such as beliefs, cognitions and emotions, are likely to fuel recurring body dissatisfaction. Your negative focus may simply shift from, say, your thighs to your arms or another body goal. What to do instead? Change the way you relate to, think and feel about your body by consistently practising some of these science-based tactics. Over time, you may come to feel more comfortable in your skin.
1.Turn inwards. Research shows that paying greater attention to internal bodily sensations, such as hunger and fullness, may increase our appreciation of our bodies by causing us to recognise and appreciate the body’s amazing functionality and needs rather than lamenting its perceived superficial shortcomings.
2. Exercise. Not to melt the fat off your thighs or firm up, but for the other benefits of moving. Research shows that people with poor body image who embark on a regular exercise regimen experience improved feelings about their bodies, regardless of whether their bodies visibly change. For motivation, consider goals related to how you want to feel, rather than how you want to look -- think increasing strength/flexibility/cardiovascular fitness.
3.Edit your socials. While fitness and healthy eating accounts can serve as inspiration, certain types of ‘fitspo’ and recipes based on restrictive diet practices may in fact fuel comparisons that undermine body image. Edit your social media accounts and replace images that make you feel bad about your body with more realistic ones. You may even choose to abandon body-focused accounts and instead follow accounts with healthy food ideas, inspiring travel images, great DIY ideas or cute animals that make you feel good.
4. Change the conversation. Take a cue from psychologists and challenge unhelpful beliefs and thoughts about your body (these thoughts and beliefs can lead to negative feelings). For instance, if you believe you are more worthy at a certain weight (and less worthy otherwise), test it against reality. Is it really true? Do you believe that about others? Replace it with something more compassionate.
5.Write to yourself. Spending just 15 minutes writing and reviewing letters to oneself can significantly increase body satisfaction, research shows. Try writing a letter of self-compassion or a letter of compassion directed at your body from the perspective of an unconditionally loving friend who sees your perceived flaws yet still responds with kindness and acceptance. Alternatively, write a letter to your body showing gratitude for everything it does to help you get through every day.
If body image dissatisfaction is causing you distress or undermining your ability to enjoy activities, consider consulting a psychologist, who can help you to untangle the factors that maintain unhelpful thoughts and beliefs and realise greater freedom.
We all make mistakes and we all have regrets. So why are some people able to move forward and leverage mistakes to grow while others get caught in rumination and replay their negative stories on a loop?
One common aspect of staying stuck is refusing or being unable to accept what’s happened. That is, to make peace with reality as it is. While it can be tempting (and even automatic) to wish things had gone differently and imagine alternative outcomes, this actually prevents us from incorporating the past into the present and future and creating an integrated narrative that probably isn’t, when considered as a whole, nearly as negative as it might seem. (Silver linings.)
This week, make a concerted effort to ‘let go’ and stop clinging to one troublesome event or action. It may help to write down what went wrong, what you have learned from the experience and ways you have improved or can improve next time as a result. This exercise changes your focus from backwards to forwards and will help you to live in the present and plan for the future. 😊#keepsoaring
Common lifestyle habits such as Netflix all-nighters and alcohol consumption can leave many of us bumbling along at a level below our best level of mental health. This can make daily functioning, let alone coping with curve balls and adversities, more difficult. As a knock-on effect of low or erratic mood, withdrawal or irritability, relationships suffer, leaving us less supported, which further fuels a chain reaction that can undermine mental health and even lead to conditions such as anxiety and depression.
To mark the start of Mental Health Week, our psychologists put together some simple but often-overlooked lifestyle upgrades that are scientifically proven to promote mental and emotional health and wellbeing.
1. Sleep well. If you tend to sit up watching TV until all hours (maybe dozing and waking), set an alarm for bedtime and stick to it. Good, consistent sleep hygiene can help to promote good quality and adequate sleep, which is critical for regulating brain chemicals that determine mood as well as states such as focus and alertness.
2. Skip the drink. Especially during lockdown, it can be tempting to ease anxiety or boredom with a wine. However, alcohol is actually a depressant and, after the initial feelgood effect, may have the opposite effect. What’s more, alcohol messes with sleep quality, which may further fuel fatigue and low mood the day after.
3. Get moving. Exercise is a natural mental health medicine. As well as promoting the release of feelgood endorphins (hence the term ‘runners’ high’), exercising has been shown to improve body image even if it doesn’t lead to weight loss or body shape changes. No wonder studies show that regular exercise has beneficial effects for symptoms of anxiety and depression.
What mental health practices do you swear by or plan to start? Your ideas may help others to harness their best mental health. Let us know in comments! #keepsoaring
Word: Phitness fysio (okay, we made that up). But we figured lockdown was a good chance to consider how a physio can help you to achieve your fitness goals - even if you’re not injured.
While personal trainers have extensive knowledge of fitness, a physio versed in exercise and sports brings the added benefit of specialised knowledge of anatomy and precise exercises and techniques to both optimise performance and minimise injury risk. The term ‘prehab’ is often used to describe physios’ fitness guidance for those who aren’t injured.
Whether you’ve been frustrated by lack of fitness progress or are limited by niggling injuries, here are a few of the many ways a physio can help.
1. Teaching you correct form and technique, which can expedite progress gains and reduce injury risk. It’s an investment in your long term fitness.
2. Conducting an in-depth assessment of your strengths and weaknesses and adjusting exercise recommendations to optimise your personal biomechanics and anatomy (e.g. that weird turned in knee that compromises your cycling). It’s personalised and precision targeted.
3. Collaborating with you to set SMART goals to help you to reach your fitness goals efficiently and safely. No guesswork. Full support.
If you have a question about how a physio can serve as your fitness partner and help you to reach your fitness goals, our experts would love to help. Ask us in comments. We respond to EVERY question with FREE expert advice.😊#keepsoaring
If you’ve gone from a frantic schedule of work commutes, driving kids to sport and a busy social life, the extra available time during lockdown may be confronting. Aside from boredom, the extra time may allow negative thoughts and worries to run wild. While it’s healthy to spend some time on self-reflection and rest as part of self-care, many of us still require some degree of structure to succeed at ‘being, not doing’.
Mindfulness practice is an accessible practice you can do anywhere, any time to recalibrate. It may sound ‘fluffy’, but a wealth of evidence shows that this technique assists with emotion regulation and stress management and can even mitigate symptoms of anxiety and depression. Why not try it this weekend? Here’s a primer.
Find a peaceful place inside or outside and sit with your eyes closed. Focus your attention on your breathing or on the sensations in your body. E.g. become aware of each part of your body starting at the top of your head and working down to your toes. Notice how the cool breeze feels as it lifts your hair, but don’t judge the sensation or let your mind run away with tangential ideas (e.g. ‘wonder what tomorrow’s weather is going to be’). If you notice your mind wandering, gently bring it back to your breath or sensation.
If you don’t like the idea of sitting still, consider incorporating mindfulness into an activity. Consider mindful walking or even mindful dishwashing. As with sitting, choose to focus on either your breath or sensations (e.g. notice how your feet feel as they connect with the ground and lift).
Curious about the science or need support to implement practice? Try the free @smilingmind Smiling Mind app (Apple and Google Play) developed by Australian psychologists and educators. #keepsoaring
Why do many health professionals recommend drug-free pain-relief approaches rather than popping pain pills? After all, if something hurts, it’s common sense to do what you can to feel better?! Few would argue that there is never a case for analgesic medications such as paracetamol. However, their limitations and risks need to be understood in the context of pain causes and mechanisms and factored into treatment of underlying factors. The for and against?
For new or acute injuries or traumas, pain medications may help to ease pain in the short term while appropriate treatment (e.g. RICE, strapping and hands-on treatment by a chiro or physio) is administered and takes effect. However, their use should not replace or delay appropriate professional assessment and treatment. They treat the symptom, not the cause. Other short-term pain such as toothache or a one-off headache may also often be safely helped with a mild pain reliever such as paracetamol or ibuprofen. (Pregnant women should seek medical advice before taking non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs or NSAIDS such as ibuprofen.)
For chronic pain or enduring conditions or injuries that cause pain, pain medications may be problematic. Pain medications are recommended for short-term use (usually a few days). It is important not to become dependent on pain medications. Another risk is that masking or numbing pain caused by tissue damage or injury may cause us to undertake activities that worsen the underlying condition as we fail to ‘hear’ the body’s danger warning signals. On the other hand, drug-free, hands-on techniques administered by a chiropractor or physio target the cause(s) of pain and seek to facilitate healing and lasting, drug-free pain relief.
If you’re in pain and not sure whether you need to consult a health professional, our friendly team is on hand to help. Call us or ask your question in comments.😊#keepsoaring
When did you last wonder whether your muscle symmetry is optimising your performance in sport or exercise? How about the way your brain and body are communicating? Could enhancing this dialogue improve your athletic performance?
These are fitness questions few non-elite athletes think to ask. Yet paying attention to, and optimising, the more detailed and intricate factors that affect movement can be the difference between ‘good’ and ‘peak’ performance (you may be surprised to learn of your untapped potential)!
How to harness the science? At Soaring Health, we have translated the science employed by Olympians and elite sports clubs into an 11-step formula suitable for athletes at all levels to realise peak form and results while overcoming injuries and minimising injury risk. The ‘Soaring Health Method’ has been successfully used by numerous elite sports clubs. Here are 3 lesser-known areas to consider when striving for that athletic ‘edge’.
Identifying subtle changes in natural posture that may reduce joint movement and cause muscle tightness and making corrections.
Determining how each side of the body is functioning and how the brain and body are communicating can inform exercises to enhance agility and coordination.
Muscles on either side of the body should be able to provide equal strength and flexibility. A balanced body will better resist injury under the demands of athletic performance.
For more information on optimising your sport or exercise performance, check out the blog or sports section on our newly-launched website. 😊#keepsoaring
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure,’ wrote Marianne Williamson. Before the new week, ask yourself these questions and give yourself permission to visibly be all that you can be. In doing so, you will not only liberate yourself, but you’ll liberate others and give them permission to realise their power.
THAT is profound.
1. Why shouldn’t I be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? ....
2. Am I playing small and, if so, how does it serve the world?
3. Am I shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around me?
4. Am I actually prohibiting myself from letting my light shine?
5. How can I give myself and others permission to be truly powerful?
Wishing everyone in the SH community a safe, healthy, powerful new week.😊#keepsoaring
